This Buzzing Sensation

I got up at 4:30 and I could just tell that if I did not get more sleep, I would just be super tired and I have to get up at 4:00 tomorrow so I decided to go back to sleep until 6:30 even though I have a ton of work to get done. I think I made the right choice.

We are back to May gray weather today after a few days of sunshine. I’m glad I got to swim at least one of those days. I have an 8:30 meeting and I am hoping things might burn off by the time that meeting finishes and I head to the beach. It doesn’t.

I leave a little after 9:30 and despite the clouds, it is very pleasant and I have absolutely no doubt that the beach will be wonderful. By the time I step foot on the shore, I can see that my premonition is true. It is very very nice. I’d add another very or two but don’t want to get too caried away here. It is low tide and I love looking at the exposed rocks in the shallows and the reflection of the sky in the wet sand.

When my feet make contact with the water, I can already tell that the water is warmer than yesterday. This indeed turns out to be the case over the entire swim. It’s not exactly luscious but the average is warmer without the extremes of yesterday’s warm and cold spots. The water visibility is clearer I think but there is not as much light.

I swim north today to the Monarch Bay Beach Club and back. It is an absolutely lovely swim. I try to let the pleasant vibe of the swim shine before me into my future. Good things are happening. All will be well. Look at what I have all around me. Look at the life I am living right now in the water. I have no reason but to assume that more good things are on the way. Perhaps I am not exactly crazy about this and that in my life. It’s ok. Everything is always changing.

I had an interaction today on Facebook that reminded me of my life before I started doing all of this. I was at one of those low points in my life and I wanted to feel differently. I had gone so far off course that I had almost forgotten what the course even looked like. I knew what I needed to do to change or at least the first two steps I needed to take but just couldn’t get myself to do it. Then you know what I did? This is so weird. I cut my hair that was down to my mid back all the way to monk length. No judgement on hair length but this somehow initiated a change in the way I saw myself that somehow made it easier for me to make other changes. Strange right? That’s the best way I can describe it.

Eventually I noticed that when I would make a positive change, I would FEEL better. It was a subtle warmth in my heart and solar plexus. So I began noticing things that I did that would bring on that feeling or even music I would hear. There is this genre of Indian devotional music I discovered by accident and when I would hear it, I would just have this feeling of goodness. Then there was that first swim almost exactly 6 years ago and I remember this buzzing sensation all around my body afterwards. So of course I swam the next day and here I am today still swimming. I remember how I felt when I was touring apartments a year ago and saw this one that was way more than I wanted to pay but I was humoring the leasing agent. I took one look out the window and there came that feeling and I signed the lease.

So I have no reason to believe that if I just let that feeling be my guide, good and better things will come. I’m sure there will be hard times along the way. Through those times, I’ll be searching for that feeling to guide me where I need to go. I have all of this in my mind as I am swimming back to where I started and crossing in front of the Ritz. I pause to look around and hear this huffing sound behind me. I turn my head and there are two dolphins passing by just about 50 feet away. Now all of my thoughts shift to the dolphins because that’s just what happens when there are dolphins about.