The Joke’s on Them

Oh man what a great swim this morning. Definitely losing the holiday memorial weekend vibe with clouds and wind but it sure makes for some high octane ocean swimming if you are into that kind of thing. Fortunately for me, I am!

Another lazy morning waking up at 5:30. I pull up the surf forecast and it’s calling for choppy seas. I do prefer nice, smooth, calm waters for swimming but sometimes a little rough and tumble action is just what the doctor ordered. Today the water is still warm (buoy says 67) and the surf is pretty small. So most of the risk variables are at their lower settings, some wind and chop can’t hurt me and I’m willing to put in a little extra work to make my way across rougher waters.

I get some chores and other morning rituals out of the way. I play some piano just before I leave. I try a couple new things here. First I try recording the very first thing I play. I do this because I often think I will warm up a bit before I record anything, but what often ends up happening is my most inspired playing happens in that warm up. Then I record and it’s just not quite the same. This does not always happen but if seems more often than not. So I plug my keyboard into my phone and I have no idea what is going to happen when my fingers touch the keys. I start with an inverted A minor and then switch to a D major and somehow the notes that I imagine playing in my head are actually being played on the keys. Amazing. I was happy with the recording.

The other new thing I am trying is playing on Instagram Live. I did this yesterday for the first time and it felt totally weird. I always play alone. For years I have been playing in solitude with the exception of my ex-wife and kids when I lived with them. When I bought this keyboard last December, I learned how to record to my phone and how to make videos with my music and pictures of my swims. I enjoy making those very much. Some day I would like to play for others live. That’s scary. Really scary and so much so that I wonder if I can even do it. Could I focus enough to feel the energy of inspiration that drives me? Well yesterday it dawns on me that this Instagram Live thing may be a relatively safe way to experiment. No one is paying any money. They can leave without making a scene. I can’t even see them. They could throw tomatoes at me but HA!, the jokes on them, because the tomatoes would hit their own phone.

Yesterday’s live session was definitely awkward and I felt like I was about 50% on and very self conscious of what each finger is doing. Today was a little better but still somewhat stilted. I think I may keep doing this. It feels like good practice.

After all this I immediately head to the car and for the beach. My sister calls me just as I start the engine. My first thought is oh no what happened but she just has some swimming questions for me and we have a delightful conversation while I drive to the beach and we wrap up just as I am pulling into my parking space.

The surface of the water is indeed very far from smooth. It all looks so dark at gloomy and mean. However I know some things many don’t. Beneath the unfriendly exterior, that water is going to feel great. It is going to be warm and the extra bounce is going to infuse me with life. These clouds look all dark here but there will be lots of life and light piercing right through them and it’s all going to be just great. This is all assuming I don’t get eaten by a shark. SPOILER ALERT: I do not get eaten by a shark.

It’s starting to feel just a little drizzly as I walk down the stairs. I pass a couple swimmers on their way back up and say something like “Looks a little bumpy out there.” They look at me with wide eyes and say “yes. It is true open sea swimming out there today!” They also comment that the water is warm. Oh yeeeaaahhhhh.

As I walk out into the water, another group of swimmers is just coming to shore. We have a similar conversation as the one I had with the pair on the way down. Same topics: rough surface, warm water. What else is there to talk about on a morning like this? I start swimming south and it is quickly apparent that this is going to be one of those “water in your face and mouth all the way up and down the beach” kind of swims. It’s a good thing I brought my bathing suit!

I feel like I am swimming with the current as I swim south and I wonder what the swim back up is going to be like. Well I find out soon enough. I make it to the south end of the beach relatively quickly. I linger here for just a couple minutes which is my usual habit. This is probably my favorite spot on the beach. I love staring at the headlands and watching the birds. No birds do I see today. I turn around and head north.

Yep. I was right. Things just got a little more intense. It’s all good. The water feels great. I have the music I was playing before the swim running through my head over the entire swim. I want to enter into the center of this music. Sometimes I get all flustered with how to “distribute” my art. My photos, my writing and my music. It feels like there is so much inside of me that wants to get out. I share here and there on social media and sometimes it feels like I am throwing my efforts out into the ether. That is changing, but I have this flash of insight during my morning sitting meditation today that I just need to focus on the art itself and the distribution will take care of itself. I don’t think that means that it will just magically be discovered. I think it means that the center of my attention should be on producing the work - particularly the joy of the work. Don’t stress about the distribution, but trust that the universe honors what you offer to it. Instead of stressing over how to get the work out, the work gets out there the same way that the creativity shows up in the first place: ideas will surface and opportunities will materialize. When that happens, say yes to them.

So I swim and listen to my music and just let it fill me. And then I let myself exist in that fullness. I trust it like I trust the water all around me. It’s all good. So good. I raise my head and look around and it is dark and stormy but not stormy. It looks so ominous but it is not ominous. I look below the water and see forests of kelp and their leaves and their vines spread out all over and it is dark but full of life.

The swim lasts for almost an hour and a half. I get out and just love what I am seeing as I look up and down the shore. The beach crowd is much smaller today than it was yesterday. It doesn’t feel like “beach weather” - that’s for sure. I walk by the lifeguard hut at the base of the ramp to the stairs. It just opened for the season which is always a delight to see. It has the water temperature posted at 64 degrees. 64?! No. It is not 64. Try 67 or 68. I catch myself walking to the lifeguard about to say what - I don’t know. “Listen young man, I don’t know what you…” I stop myself and decide to just let it go. When I get to the top of the stairs, I woman asks me how the water is. She looks like the type who would be game to get in. I tell her it is very pleasant and not to be fooled by the 64 posted at the lifeguard hut below.