I Want To Notice

Ahhhh Saturday. I sleep in until 5:30. So good. I know that doesn’t sound like sleeping in, but I was up at 4:00 every day this week; so 5:30 seems pretty delicious. This time of year, the light is actually out at 5:30 so it feels so late.

We have lost our sun that had made an appearance earlier in the week. Cloudy skies dominate our coastal communities. However as I look at this morning’s buoy data and see the water temperature is 68, I swear I can feel direct sunlight coming right through those two circles in the eight. It feels good.

I head for the beach a little before 9:00 after playing a little piano. I get to the parking lot and there is a small group forming at the shuttle stop. I think it is some kind of semi-formal walking group. It’s low tide at the beach or at least it will be in about an hour so there is plenty of beach. You really can’t have too much beach. Of course you want some ocean too, but then it wouldn’t be a beach without the ocean.

As the water rolls over my feet, I can tell it is warmer already from my last swim on Thursday. There are several boats out past the surf today. I wonder if they have found something worth investigating or if they are just kicking off the Memorial Day weekend on the water.

I head out past the surf and start to swim north. It doesn’t take long to realize that the water is quite nice. I think this is the warmest so far of the season. I hope I don’t jinx things and find colder water tomorrow. However looking at the wind forecast, that’s not an unlikely event.

I’m not sure if it is the warmer water, or the fact that it is Saturday with no plans but I don’t find myself in any kind of rush to get anywhere right now. I mean I’d say that’s the case on most, but not all, swims but I stop quite a bit and my pace feels pretty lackadaisical and I’m totally ok with this.

I swim past the ritz, past the surfers at the point break, I keep stopping every now and then hoping to see some birds flying close over the water, but none show up. I arrive at a little kelp forest just short of the Monarch Bay Beach club. I dive down several times just to experience a more interactive view. I meet up with a small school of fish that seem unperturbed by my presence. I rise back to the surface and enjoy looking up to the surface and the light that shines above it even if the sun isn’t out.

I get to the beach club where I usually turn around and feel like swimming just a little further. So I do because I can. I’m now just past the beach club and wonder if I should keep going. I know that the closer I get to the northern edge of the bay, the more there will be to see even though visibility is not all that great. However, I am feeling a slight yearning for coffee. I decide to honor that yearning and turn back.

I stop a little less often on the return trip. I’m still hoping for birds but really don’t see much. I’m trying to keep in tune with my body and see what it might be telling me. I often notice how I will get distracted with my phone and I feel completely cut off from my body. I believe that our bodies are a source of truth. Something I have ignored much of my life. I’m in a season of life where I want to hear the truth. I really really want to hear it. I’ve heard a lot of words and some have been good but I think there is something else that I have neglected that speaks through my tissues. I don’t always know what it is telling me but the only way I will find out is to listen.

So I swim back by the beach club, the golf course, the bathrooms, the mid beach lifeguard tower, the snack area, the surfers at the point, the Ritz and into Niguel Shores until I am right in front of that house where I always begin the swim. All the while I am focusing on that edge between my skin and the water. What does that feel like? I am placing my attention deep into my heart and my belly. What vibrations do I feel there? Where are they coming from and where are they going to? This isn’t about catching ideas. However if they show up I will try to catch as many as I can. This is about succumbing to something that is constant - constant but unnoticed. I want to notice.

I get out of the water. I have been in for an hour and 45 minutes. The beach feels a little busier than it did when I got in. I can definitely sense the hum of a holiday weekend.