Higher Self

Leaving early - just a little after 6:00. It's completely overcast but the temperature is very mild and the water temperature is supposed to be about 72 degrees, which sounds wonderful.

As I'm driving down selva road, I can see a rift in the clouds opening at the south end of the beach out over the water past the point. Blue sky and sun light is leaking through. I am hoping this is just a precursor to more blue sky to come.

I park and walk down to the the beach. The tide is very low. There is lots of sand and exposed rocks. It looks like very small surf. A man is fishing at my usual take off spot so I walk just a little further north than usual. The water doesn't feel warm but doesn't feel cold either. I can tell this is going to be excruciatingly comfortable.

As I walk past the small surf, I have my eye on the rift in the cloud cover. It looks like it might be growing. I start swimming south and I am staring at the bluff. I can see more sunlight poking though the clouds. This water is amazing.

Half way down the beach, I notice a new junior guard buoy - big Bob. I figure they must have anchored it in the last couple days. Below me I see a school of fish in the not so clear but growing clearer water.

I stop several times as I make my way to the headlands. Everything here is awesome and it feels like the light is constantly changing and I don't want to miss anything. There is now a large expanse of blue sky over the point against a receding cloud bank over the cliff.

Once I reach the southern cliffs, I take in this magnificent view. With the low tide, lots of rocks are well exposed here. I swim just a little further out to reach an outcropping of rocks. I know fish like to hang out here but the water is just too cloudy to see anything.

A tern comes flying close. I watch with anticipation as my camera is ready. It zooms past me at nearly eye level and I can see a fish in it's beak. Poor fish.

I head back north and start to ruminate over all the things I need to get done. There is one thing in particular that I am the most stressed about but also the most excited. I worry that I won't get it done or that I will fail miserably, but I know this simply is not true. There is something about this task that feels like it is something I was meant to do. I decide to look away from the worry and I concentrate on my highest self that is always inside of me. I imagine what this part of myself is capable of. I tell myself that I am making a choice to embody that higher self. I have complete faith that I will succeed in this upcoming endeavor. I don't know exactly how or when I will find the time, but I know those things are irrelevant now. The time will present itself and I will find my way forward. So I try to surrender my worry because it simply isn't serving me now.

I keep swimming all the way to salt creek and then back to where I started. We seem to be losing that blue sky. I was so hopeful things would clear but it's just not meant to be. It's ok. All is still beautiful here. I can see a light shining on the surface of the water. It's just the tiniest glimmer but somehow it colors the ocean surface with joy.

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Will and Attention

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Jupiter Dreams