Safety First

I’m not able to leave my home until 11:00 this morning. Meetings meetings meetings. As I’m sitting in my chair in my living room where I work, I can feel the sun shining on the back of my head through the window and I want to follow that feeling right out the window and straight to the beach. I soon do this but opt for the front door instead of the window. You know, safety first.

It’s a beautiful day just like every single day this week has been. It’s forecasted to be in the 70s and the winds should be on the light side. When I pass Blue Lantern, I can see Catalina Island clearly in the background. There is a faintly dirty brown haze resting low on the water around it. I park and head down to the beach. There is no construction today on the path above the shore but it also looks like they are not yet done. Wide sections of the fence are missing and replaced with yellow caution tape. I can feel a slight breeze coming from the north.

I get into the water and it feels cold. Still it is beautiful. Once past the waves I start to swim and lean into my exhale. I let my muscles go slack and try to just relax into the cool water. I try to truly feel it all around me. I don’t want to fight it. I just want to sit here and inquire. What does it have to give to me today and what is it asking for in return?

I swim north today because I swam south last time. I don’t know just how many more north bound swims are left for the winter. I don’t like to swim this route after the water temperature dips below 60. It’s an out and back route. My southern route goes south and then I turn around and pass my starting point to go north before coming back around to finish. So the south route gives me an option to end the swim early if I am overwhelmed by cold. This came in handy with Barbara on Sunday.

It does feel colder today than when I last swam a couple days ago. My body stabilizes a few minutes in and I remain comfortable “enough” through the rest of the swim. I’m not here to be comfortable. I’m not here to be miserable either but these do not have to be opposites. One can be uncomfortable and not miserable. One can be uncomfortable and totally stoked to be here. I know…I know…you just have to come down and experience it for yourself.

I swim past the surfers in front of lifeguard tower zero. I swim past the lawn and snack area. The Monarch Bay Beach Club looms far in front of me and then not so far and after a while it’s getting close and then here it is. I stop and turn around to head back to where I started.

I’m thinking of something that has been causing some amount of both excitement and anxiety. I decide to let it go into the water. I think that there is something that I need to do to influence its outcome. The water is telling me that’s not true. I just need to lean into it and receive the outcome. I choose to keep that feeling of excitement and slough off the anxiety. There. Now that’s much better.