Mesmerized

I’m out the door just a little after 9:00 and today looks a lot like yesterday but more wind. There is an 8 knot southwest wind blowing and ruffling up the water. Otherwise, all is pleasant. The air is mild, and the sky is covered with clouds. A low pressure system has moved in and there is a slight chance of rain later in the morning but I’m not going to place any bets. In fact, I’d bet it will not rain.

I feel like I have a bunch of nervous energy inside of me today and I need to get into the water to calm my nerves. I am confident the chewed up surf will do just that.

I get to the parking lot and head down the stairs. The air is comfortable and when I get to the beach and feel the water on my feet, it feels mildly cool. The kind of cool that I know will warm once my body gets moving.

A good sized set of waves comes in just as I am heading down the asphalt towards the sand but I don’t see another set of consequence until I am swimming and out past the surf.

I am swimming north today towards Salt Creek and the water does feel good. I feel like I am covered in a warm blanket as I watch a late Spring storm. The current is pushing me along as both wind and swell are coming out of the south today. The water is relatively clear despite the turbulence. I can see tree after of tree of kelp pass me by in this turquoise blue water.

I swim past the edge of the surf lineup. I am just a little inshore of the surfer who is positioned farthest out. We say hi and he comments that I’m probably comfortable in the water and that he is roasting in his full suit. Well I think we all know the solution to that problem.

I proceed towards the Monarch Beach Club. All I can remember is a horizon that can’t quite keep still, a steady wake of water moving behind me and effervescent lively water sloshing all around my body. The scenery above the water is so grey and dark. I can see Monarch Point just up ahead every time I look up to check my bearings.

After I pass the surf break, it seems that I get to my destination pretty quickly and I know the return trip is going to take a little longer since I will be going against the current. I have the shore on my left which is my breathing side so it gives me something to look at and I do like to look at it.

It feels like I stare at the same three trees for forever until I’m no longer looking at them and have moved on to some building, or lifeguard stand or other natural indentation in the bluff. Each of these fixtures gives the illusion that they are omnipresent and no matter where I find myself on the coastline, it will be front and center. Then suddenly it’s no longer there and I forget that it ever was and I am fixated on the next dominant object and mesmerized into the belief that it is immovable and eternal until it’s gone.

I think of my life and how I am trying to get from one point to the other. It feels like these forms and figures around me have always been there and always will be and I’m stuck making zero progress until something gives way and suddenly everything looks different and I am on my way again.

I am nearing the surf break at the point again as I head back to The Strand. A flock of pelicans swooshes down just as I get within the vicinity of the surfers. I wonder what they think of all of us or if they have absolutely any interest in what we are up to. I sure am interested in them. They fascinate me. Sometimes they are solo, sometimes a trio and sometimes in a flock of 50 or more. Sometimes they swoosh just inches above the water and sometimes they stay way up high. Sometimes they fly single file and sometimes in a ‘V’ formation and sometimes one side of the V is much longer than the other.

It feels like the water is getting warmer as the swim continues and now I am right back where I started. It seems like the waves are a little bigger now too and then they are gone. I swim until I can feel the sand brush my fingers and then I lift myself up to my feet. I must say I do feel better now than I did the last time I was right here when I started.