Gravitational Grooves
I slept in until 6:45. 6:45! If only there were upper case numbers, I would be using them. It was a beautiful thing and judging by the tint and timbre of the light coming in through the blinds, I wondered if there could possibly be sun outside. I bring up the beach web cams, and it does indeed look like there might be sun. There is definitely a mix of blue and white sky showing up on the Doheny and Salt Creek cams.
I open my blinds and sure enough - blue sky above me. However there is definitely some convergence of cloud cover over the coast. I can’t wait until my move in the beginning of August to the condos just across the street from the Strands parking lot. I will no longer have to wonder what the sky will look like at the beach because the beach sky will be my sky. I will literally be living at the beach. I mean what I have now is incredible by almost any standard, but oh man it’s gonna be great.
As the morning passes and I walk my dog, I can still see patches of blue sky but it does not feel all that luminous out. Well these things can change fast. In an hour we could have completely clear skies…or not. When I get to the beach, there is still a sliver of distinctly blue sky over the water, but it’s mostly clouds all around. However these clouds are beautiful. They look nearly liquid and are filled with rich contours and variations of light and dark. Also, that sliver of blue sky does lend a splash of joy to the entire landscape.
On the beach, a set of nice sized, but not big, waves comes in. Once they are spent, the ocean looks like a lake. The water is a beautiful blue and that sliver of blue sky mixes with the clouds to reflect an electric glow off of the ocean’s surface. It’s just so beautiful. Another thing I note is the disappearance of Jupiter rock. It must be completely covered in sand.
Just as I am starting to walk into the water, a set of waves comes in so I just wait for them to pass and then I head out. I start to swim and it is almost as though I barely notice any drop in core temperature. The water is so pleasant. The buoys say 71 degrees. So nice. I swim south. Everything here is so beautiful. I swim this beach nearly a couple hundred times a year. Every day is different. Today is stunning. Something about the light and the texture of the water. I’m sure it helps that the water is so comfortable and the wave situation is nearly stress-free. This entire experience feels so nurturing.
Everything is great. That sliver of blue sky is activating some unknown chemical in my brain (oxytocin?) that whispers in my mind and tells me that all is well. I’m nearing the south end of the beach and taking this all in and BAM! What the F**??!! My head has hit hard against something solid and then I see a mass of flesh unfolding in front of me that is not my flesh. At first I wonder if I hit a dolphin and I’m slightly excited and then I see the head of another human. He is wearing swim goggles just like me. OH MY GOD! Here we are in this big old ocean and I manage to collide head first with perhaps the only other swimmer in this water. We both let out a big laugh because what else could you do? He says, “what are the chances?” I feel like I could wax poetic for about an hour but I just can’t get words to come out of my mouth. We wish each other a great swim and go our separate ways. My head aches a little but mostly I am overflowing with joy. So allow me to wax poetic now in the comfort of my own home.
I am growing convinced that there is more at play than random chance that caused this head-on collision. This has happened too many times now. I have hit people, logs, and lot and lots of buoys. It’s not like there are tons of people out here or lots of buoys. I’ll tell you what there is a lot of here: water. There is a lot of water. Yet somehow in all of this water I intersect with things that are not water. Maybe the currents cause solid bodies to fall into a sort of groove and stay with it. I have no idea and I don’t care enough about it to research it. I prefer to wallow in my ignorance and wonder because I find that fun. At least when it comes to this particular topic.
As I continue in my swim, I wonder how and if this concept of a sort of gravitational groove might apply to other things. I love to find connections between phenomena that I observe in the water to those I experience on land because there are a lot. It’s a big world we live in and an even bigger universe. Sure there is a lot of stuff moving about but the fact of the matter is that the universe is mostly empty space. Also, even though it doesn’t look like it, what we see as things upon things upon things is actually mostly empty space. An atom is mostly empty space. And all the while it is our interactions with these other things in our lives that becomes the most impactful catalyst for growth and change.
Somehow we find ourselves drawn to others. Sometimes because we want to be drawn and other times they seem to come unbidden for better or worse. We interact with these other beings and it changes who we are. Perhaps we spend decades on a particular trajectory - in a gravitational groove, if you will, in order to rendezvous with another being well into middle age. There are many who believe that we actually plan these interactions before we are born. I like to agree.
Sometimes there is complex strategizing that takes place and other times we find ourselves in front of someone else and it is so unexpected but we are dumbfounded to realize that we had been searching for them all along. We may bounce off the other or become entangled either pleasantly or horrifically. However it happens, the chemical change in our soul renders us different and the course we were on prior to this union is slightly or greatly altered.
Looking back on my own life, so many of these interactions when I was younger felt random and chaotic. I did not understand the agency I possessed to choose what and who I came into contact with. There is always an element of surprise but we might find that over time we can make choices and focus our attention in such ways that lead us to more positive and desirable collisions. Maybe it becomes easier to separate ourselves from an unwanted body and to bond with those that make us feel good. I suppose a big step here is just learning what it feels like to feel good - to really feel good. At least in my experience, that has not been easy to notice. Perhaps because it requires me to notice. We have to constantly be taking notice and that takes energy and intention.
