Ghosts

I’m out the door at about 10 minutes before 9:00. The skies are sunny and it is warm - about 70 degrees. There is some haziness resting on the coast but it is all good. I arrive at my parking spot and I can feel the sun’s warmth on my face as I reach over to grab my goggles and camera. It feels so so good.

I really do think September is my favorite month of the year. The water is still warm, there are more sunny mornings, and less crowds in all the local beach towns. Also, the first weekend is always a three day weekend. All the way down the stairs I am trying to think of a way to extend the month - maybe until forever. By the time I reach the sand, I still have zero ideas on how to make this happen. I just don’t want to let go of these conditions. It’s all so perfect.

Lots of sand on this beach and several beach walkers are out enjoying it. There are a few surfers and a couple inshore “frolickers” in the water. I’d say the water is 69ish. There are some near head high waves here and looking north towards Salt Creek, or “Creek” as the cool kids call it, there is some pretty good size surf coming in at the point.

I get in the water and it feels good. I often feel about a two minute lull in my spirits as I first touch the water. That thought comes, “did I really think this was a good idea?” I was warm just a second ago and what I am feeling here is not warm. I can’t remove the association between “not warm” and “bad.” I know this is all going to blow over super quick so I just put up with and tolerate these thoughts that float like ghosts across my psyche. They scare but cannot harm me. If I stop believing them, they just disappear.

I play just a little in the breaking waves as I make my way past the surf. It’s fun and by the time I reach the calmer water, I forget what cold or cool even is. All is well here as far as I can tell. The surface is smooth and blue and I can see lifeguard tower zero and the larger breaking waves up ahead below the Ritz. There is very little water visibility today, but I feel like I can see everything I need to see.

I swim north and after passing the point or maybe right in front of it, a big set of waves comes in. I love watching this. They break well inshore from where I am and it all looks so dramatic. I keep swimming and an even larger set comes and it looks like it could break right where I am. The angle of the wave steepens and I swear the lip is about to feather but then it suddenly loses steam before finally breaking about where the surfers are hanging out. It is fun to watch and even more fun to feel. They are like moving mountains that lift me into the sky as they pass under me and then gently set me back down.

I keep swimming towards the Monarch Bay Beach Club. I try to empty my thoughts and focus on the tactile sensation of the water on my skin and the sound of the water moving around my face. There is an energy here in the water and it recharges me on so many levels. How can I carry this energy with me into the world? Is there some place where I can store the surplus for future access? The supply here is limitless. If only I could harness it.

Just before reaching the beach club, I find myself inside some patch of “ocean scum.” It’s hard to describe and I’m not sure I want to. It’s disgusting and I find myself doing a sort of breast stroke to avoid putting my face in it. It doesn’t take long to get past it and I find myself in clean smooth water - at least clean enough.

I turn around and I’m delighted not to swim back through that yucky patch. The water definitely feels warmer on this second half of the swim - not that it was cold on the way out. As I rise for breath and my cheek scratches the upper surface of the water, it feels genuinely warm. There is a large, thin layer of cloud vapor just below the sun that seems to be dimming the light here. It looks translucent and has lots of interesting texture to it. I enjoy looking at it but also wish it would go away in exchange for brighter light.

I soon finish the swim and head back up the stairs. My favorite Jehovah’s Witness is at the top and asks me what I saw. He mentions how he can’t believe that I don’t have “flippers” or a wetsuit. I tell him I like going “El Natural.” He says, “you do keep your shorts on right?” “Oh yes!” I emphatically reply, “I do keep the shorts on!”