Experience

I get up at 4:30 and immediately feel like I need to get work done. I wouldn't say I was totally stressed. I just had a sense that now was the time to focus on some work tasks that I needed to knock out. Usually I would meditate and get some chores done but today I just brush my teeth and grab my laptop and start working.

As 9:00 approaches, my work load is easing and I have a craving to move my body. I just want an hour of exercise and I am trying to think of what is the fastest way to get that done. Well, honestly, a swim would probably be the easiest way to knock out an hour of exercise but if I add in the blog and picture editing then it can get pretty long. Then I propose to myself, how about we just don’t blog this one. WHAT? That’s right, just swim. Can I even do that? Well obviously I can’t because look at me now.

I took a camera with me because you just never know what you are going to see and then came back with a few shots that a have to put somewhere, and now I need some words to put around them, and here I am. My thoughts were dominated by this talk I am giving on Sunday. A good part of the talk I am completely comfortable with but there is this whole Jesus section that I am not exactly certain what I will say. There is so much I want to say but I don’t want the talk to get off track. I want to stay focused on my experience in the water. My thoughts about Jesus occupied much of this experience for a period of time. How do I talk about these thoughts without covering this big back story of my religious upbringing and philosophical struggle.

Anyways, as I am walking from my car to the stairs, it all dawns on me that it is going to be fine. I just need to talk about my experience. I don’t need to try to sound all deep and wise or clever. I just need to communicate what I was feeling and thinking in the most direct way possible. I’m not sure exactly what that is going to look like but I suddenly have this faith that it will be just fine. I spend a good part of the swim just visualizing myself talking to this group and feeling what it is that I want to feel when I tell them about these experiences. It feels good.