Conferencing In

Finally it has happened. Sunday was so nice and I was looking forward to another great week of decent conditions. Then I ended up giving my ex-wife my car while hers was in the shop on Monday and Tuesday and yesterday (Wednesday) things went bonkers at work. Now there’s a word I don’t use a whole lot, but it is very fitting for what happened yesterday. I was totally ready to go to the beach. At least two times I was literally on my way to the door and then I hear the ping of our conferencing app on my laptop. Before I know it, it is 1:00 and I am hungry and I know I have to leave at 4:00 and I know I have a bunch more work to do and the math just doesn’t work out for me to have time for a swim or even a run.

This morning I had a very “lively” meeting in the morning that goes quite long and is all about the thing I work on, which is far too boring to even deserve mention here, and I’m starting to wonder if I will make it out today. Fortunately, after the meeting, while no one was happy, everyone seemed to feel like they had enough information for the time being and there were no active fires. So at about 9:15 I head out the door and my laptop remains silent.

It’s a nice day. There are lots of clouds in the sky but several patches of blue sky as well. It’s no longer as warm as it was last weekend but it’s fine - about 60 degrees. I get to the parking lot and the water looks fairly calm with just a little ruffle on the surface. I know I’m on borrowed time. The wind is supposed to get breezy soon, but what’s wrong with a little breeze?

I head down the stairs and the water looks beautiful. I can see varying shades of blue revealing the shadows of rocks and kelp below the surface. There is definitely less light here than my last couple swims and it seems like the sun is playing with me. One moment I feel its warmth and then it’s gone.

The tide is pretty high and the surf is not nonexistent but pretty small. There is a Curlew on the sand playing at the water’s edge and there are Pelicans in the air flying directly above me. A man and his son are fishing just past where I get into the water.

I walk out just about 20 feet and I’m in up to my chest and so I start swimming. It’s too early to get a good verdict on the water temperature. I assume it is going to be colder than the end of last week but hopefully warmer than a week ago Tuesday. The water is definitely more clear than it was last week. I always like that. I can see the ocean floor in varying degrees of sharpness throughout the entire swim. Of course I could go on and on and on about the water temperature. I’ll try my best to contain things to one sentence. It was kind of cold. Not terrible but it was something I was aware of the entire hour. Ok I went a little over a sentence but not too bad.

It was a fairly challenging swim today. Besides the cold, I had my mind on a lot of different things, both work and personal. I wonder if I should even be here. Should I be attending to more important things? One could argue that I should, but I know myself well enough that if I can get this swim in, I will be more productive and in a much better mood than if I don’t. If I don’t, I’ll get all bent out of shape and possibly even depressed. I have my son tonight and it will be good for both of us if I am in high spirits.

This practice of swimming is very much a meditation practice. I tend to judge my performance in this practice based on my ability to still my mind. Yes, I know that such judging is in no way accurate or worthwhile, but I do it nonetheless - most everybody does. Heck, I could even judge my own judginess, and I do. Regardless of the fact that it’s not the point, I am failing miserably in my ability to tame my thoughts today.

For very private reasons that I will not share, I am swimming with my sister today and she is occupying the majority of my thoughts. She is physically in Vista, about 30 miles away, but she might as well be right here. My dad is here too. He has passed and is no longer bound to this physical realm but who am I kidding? He is always here. I could think of a few others I’d like to conference in but more than three would be a crowd. I don’t know what we are talking about exactly but I sure hope we can get a few things resolved. It might take several more swims.