Comfortable Without the Sarcasm

I’ve been looking forward to this swim since my last swim on Tuesday a few days ago. Temperatures have been forecasted to be in the 70’s today and to top it off it’s Friday. Weather has been spectacular all week. I took a run the last couple of days and both runs included a little bit of beach. I couldn’t help but wonder why I was running and not swimming. The conditions were perfect, but I had lots of work to get done and running is much more time efficient.

On both of those runs, the water temperature posted at the Salt Creek lifeguard tower was 59. Well, based on Tuesday’s swim, that looks about right but c’mon, isn’t this warm weather moving the needle at all? The local buoys have gone up a degree from 60 to 61 when I check first thing before dawn. Looks like they peak at about 63 in the early afternoon hours. So despite this scrumptious heat I step into as I walk out my front door at about 9:15, I expect the water will be the same cold as it was Tuesday. I’m not all that disappointed though. Tuesday was a great swim and being out in these elements is just a gift.

I’m swimming with Barbara again this morning. My swim buddy from back in January. I wasn’t quite so sure she would be up for it again until Summer but apparently she is ready for it again. I mean of course she is. Take a look around here. As I wait for her in the parking lot, I feel like I could just wait here forever. The sun feels so so good.

Barbara shows up and we head down the stairs. At the bathrooms at the bottom of the stairs, a gentleman comes up to me and compliments me on the pictures I share on social media. That makes me feel super good. I want to share this experience and spread some of these good feelings around. There are not enough of these good feelings about. Wait! No. That’s not right. There is an endless supply of these good feelings to be had. I hope I can help others connect with them.

Barbara and I get to the sand and everything is beautiful here. We head out into the water and seem to be trying to delay the inevitable. Eventually we are off. We head north and at first I notice the cold in the water but I don’t experience the same cold shock I had on Tuesday. As we continue, I assume I am less bothered today because I have a swim partner to distract me, but eventually I realize there are these warm spots and come to believe that the water truly is warmer. 59? I’m sure there is some 59 degree water here and there but I do not think that is the mean.

We get to the northern bathrooms just short of the Salt Creek lifeguard tower and turn around. The further we progress, the more I am beginning to think that this swim is just plain delightful. That’s no big surprise, but I really did not expect the water to feel this good. There are moments of cold but the longer I am out here, the more comfortable I feel. I include that word “comfortable” here without any sarcasm. I’d also just like to mention that it is February.

We reunite with our starting latitude and this is were Barbara and I part ways. She heads back to the beach and I continue south to the headlands. I just can’t believe how wonderful this water is. Once I am almost to the southern end of the swim, I hear a high pitched squeak. I am convinced this is a dolphin. I have heard this sound before and often suspect it is a dolphin. Sometimes I am proven correct and other times I see nothing. However, this one comes out so clearly that I can’t imagine what else it could be. So I stop and look around. I don’t see anything for a while and then there it is. A single dorsal fin appears in the distance and quickly submerges and then I never see it again.

I get to my usual turnaround point and pause and then swim just a little further out west to a outcropping of submerged rock that is beginning to become exposed by the lowering tide. I enjoy wading here and watching the muscle encrusted rocks appear and disapear in the ebbing and flowing of the water. Beneath the surface, the water is super murky. That rock is just a dark shadow.

I swim back to where Barbara and I started and I try to lose myself in the shadows below me. I remember reflecting on this after Tuesday’s swim and I wonder if I could take this a step further. Could I truly forget myself? I’m reflecting on my conversation with Barbara on the way down the stairs. I am thinking of ego and the advice of Rick Rubin I heard last night to listen and follow one’s own voice. I wonder if I can find that voice down there in the shadows. My ego wants to listen and expects to find words but I suspect there is something else there. I’ve been thinking about this the last several days (or weeks or years). I know for sure there is a voice that guides us. I have no doubt that the words can be clear but for every time when the words come through clearly, there are a hundred million other moments where words seem absent but the voice is not silent. I think it’s in our feelings and desires. We toss our feelings to the wayside and completely forget how to listen with our heart or that we even can.

I want to hear. I just need to find that subtle angle by which to tilt my focus so that I can catch the feelings this kelp and water and sun are sending my way.