Cohort

I’m out of my apartment by 8:00 and skies are overcast but the air is very pleasant. As I head down Selva and take in the view of the ocean in front of me and extending as far as I can see, I notice just a touch of texture on the surface. Everything feels shrouded in a hush on this Saturday morning. That is, until I am in the parking lot. There are a fair number of people getting their morning walk on. Why not? Where else would you go? I can’t thing of anywhere I’d rather be and perhaps that’s exactly why I am right here.

I walk down the stairs and it seems like the closer I get to the water, the stronger the breeze becomes, which overall is really not that strong. I’m wondering if I will be warmer once I am settled in the water, but I’m really not that cold right now. I reach the shore and there is a Seagull at the water’s edge looking out towards the water. I wonder if he is thinking the same thing as I am. What does he think I wonder. Does he have thoughts? Or does he simply feel? Some think some animals don’t have feelings but I wonder if that’s not all they have.

The surf is small today like it was yesterday. I walk out into the water and start to swim south. The water feels about the same as it did yesterday. A little cool but not cold and warmer in some spots than others. I try to lose myself in the water and just fade into the flow. Everything is greyish blue and every once in a while I see orange vines of kelp extend from the ocean floor and drift with the current. I want to mimic their movement. Why should the kelp be so different than me? Can I make this place my home just as they have? What does the kelp think? Does the kelp feel? People don’t think plants feel. Maybe that’s all they can do. What do we know?

I get to the southern end of the beach. It seems like it just all of the sudden appears in front of me. I pop my head up and there are my big southern rocks where I always turn around. The tide is low and so they are standing tall above the water. I think this is super cool. There are really two main rocks right here. One really big one and a smaller one just about 7 feet offshore of it. Sometimes the smaller one is mostly submerged but with the current low tide, it is very prominent. I like gazing right down the middle of the two rocks with my eyes just above the surface. Am I the only one seeing this? I take a look around. Oh. I guess I am. There are a few surfers a little further inshore. Not much waves right here but there is something.

I head back up north. The current is definitely flowing north and every few minutes I can feel a steady pulse of wakes flowing over my back and head pushing me forward. This definitely explains why I am at the north end of the beach in what seems like very quick time. Everything is still as cloudy as can be and it doesn’t look like that is going to change any time soon but it probably will change. I mean, it absolutely will change.

I’m looking around for the buoys and I spot Big Bob almost directly west of me about 40 feet away. About a few hundred feet beyond Big Bob is a charter boat with its lights on. I wonder where they are all headed and what they are doing. Are they fishing or whale watching? Was this the destination or just a point along the way to wherever it is heading wherever that is. Whatever the answers are to these questions, there is something very peaceful about this sight. All those people enjoying the fresh morning air on the water in the comfort and warmth of a large boat. And the lights add a little something extra. I can’t quite place what it is, but I like it.

I aim myself toward my finishing point as close as I can get to the concrete ramp leading back up the bluff. The ride definitely gets more bumpy now as I swim against the current. I stare at the edge of the top of the bluff and it doesn’t seem to move until I reach the houses in Niguel Shores. This must be it’s flagship block. Niguel Shores is a fairly expansive community of homes here at the western edge of Dana Point. If you ask me, they all look like nice homes but these ones on the bluff are the crown jewel of the community. I can’t see anyone inside from way down here but wonder if they see me. I’ve been swimming this stretch for the last five years and wonder if they recognize me by now.

I finish up the swim and head back up to the stairs. It’s still not yet 10:00 and the lifeguard station is still closed up. My mind thinks about my recently passed dad and how I used to run into him randomly here and I’m sad that I will not be running into him today. However I know he is here. I know there is an entire cohort of beings watching over me and all of us. Some call them angels. Some guides. Some think they are ancestors. I think these are all just words and don’t pretend to think I understand all the technicalities and I don’t care because I don’t think it matters. Sometimes, like now, they all feel so very very far away. That’s ok. I know they are here and that’s all that matters to me.