Back to School
I left at 9:45 and I can see sun light scattered randomly through the cloud cover. This all looks very promising. As I drive out of my apartment complex I can see sunlight hitting the pavement in front of me even though there is still a fair amount of grey above me. Then when I walk down the stairs to the beach, I feel the unmistakable sensation of direct sunlight on my skin. The sky still looks hazy but all in all things feel sunny and that is what matters.
As I pass the lifeguard station just before reaching the sand, I notice the OC jr. guard flyer has August 8th as the final day of jr. guards. This makes me kind of sad. That’s this week. It feels like the jr. guards just got here. I feel like I am being told it’s time to go back to school. I’m just not ready even though I am not enrolled in school and I do indeed have to go back to work after this swim. Somehow it makes me feel good to know that these kids are enjoying the beach over their summer break. Speaking of the jr. guards, I look out to the north end of the beach where they are based and I see a group of about 50 kids run out into the water and through the surf. Their speed and energy make me look elderly. I usually take my sweet time before I dive in but not these kids. They rush into the water and appear as if they have merged into a sort of single hive minded organism
There is still some, but not a whole lot of, swell in the water and the surface is pretty ruffled up from the breeze. I walk to my usual starting spot and there is a small group of kids playing right here. My OCD wants to go ahead and squeeze right through them as I make my way out to the water but that feels weird and wrong so I don’t. I mean I have the whole beach here. Certainly it won’t kill be to get in a few feet from where I usually start. Right?…right?! I’m taking my chances.
I head out in my usual slow and steady pace until there is just no other choice but to swim. The ride is bumpy but great and I head south. It doesn’t take long at all for these clouds to burn off. The sky remains hazy but hazy blue and not hazy grey. The water is a little cloudier than the last few swims and the water temperature feels mostly comfortable. There are a couple cold patches but they are brief. The water gets extra cloudy as I enter these patches and then the water takes on an almost yellowish hue with a distinctive smell I can’t quite describe. Then the water suddenly clears up and I feel this wave of warm water rush over me. There is probably some kind of scientific explanation for all of this. I’d be curious to know what it is but not enough to find out.
It’s really difficult to tell just where the current is coming from. My guess is that it is coming from more than just one direction. I do feel quite a bit of vertical movement from the approaching waves. I just love this feeling of aliveness. All of this water around me is part of a larger dynamic system far more complex than most realize or care to know. It is so fun to swim and suddenly look down a slope that was not at all a slope just a couple seconds ago.
I swim and let go of my thoughts as they exhale through my lungs. I’m trying to let go of all my worries and trust that all is well. Somehow this comes naturally here out in the ocean. Perhaps it is the loss of gravity as I float on the surface that makes the leap forward into life feel like less of a leap of faith. It’s just the next stroke that pulls my weight into the water before me. Somehow I remain above water and do not sink. It’s as if every inch gained is a tiny miracle that repeats itself again and again and again.
The swim comes to an end and I am walking up the stairs and a woman stops me and asks if I was at “the service” on Saturday. I ask if she is referring to my dad’s celebration of life and she says yes. She didn’t know my dad but went with someone who was affiliated with my dad’s company. Wow it is a small world. We talk a little about the beach and she heads down for a walk as her son participates in jr. lifeguards. Well chances are that he is having a great time given what I was seeing just a few minutes ago.
