5 Point Plan

I left at about 9:15 this morning. Skies are overcast but there is a crack in the clouds forming above my apartment complex and I feel a wave of heat briefly pass over me as I drive beneath it on the way out to Golden Lantern. This crack does not quite reach blue sky but it is the beginning of a breakdown in structure that will inevitable lead to unabated sunshine. I’m hoping this all happens sooner than later.

I get to the parking lot and the ocean surface is relatively smooth. It’s not exactly glassy but it is much smoother than yesterday’s conditions. Today should be more akin to Disneyland’s Peter Pan ride than yesterday’s Matterhorn. As I walk down the stairs, I feel that wave of heat again and stare back behind me. There is that crack following me. Come on sun. Don’t be shy.

The tide is high and on it’s way to a 5.7 high. It’s probably close to 5.5 right now but I left my tape measure at home so I just can’t be sure. I walk out into the water and pause to let a few waves do their thing and pass. Then I proceed and I see another wave approaching. I’m just going to have to dive under this one. I watch its lip curl and I dive and can feel it come down on my calves just before my feet pass below the bottom of the wave. I love this feeling - entering into the circular energetic flow of the wave and letting it propel me under and up to the other side.

The water feels colder today at first. I swim several strokes and let the cool water penetrate my skin and then I pass some kind of invisible barrier and the water warms a few degrees and remains. Some people don’t believe me but I really do think the water is often warmer past the surf than it is inside. Yes. I know deeper water is colder but I’m on the surface and it is still out here and not circulating with the water below. That’s my theory, and I’m sure it’s in some book somewhere that is written by a genius.

The water remains at this comfortable temperature throughout the entire swim. I swim south and I can feel the rhythm of the swell beneath me like resting on top of a breathing giant. The swell is not at all a large swell but it doesn’t take much to create a noticeable current. It becomes my steady and constant companion over the next hour. No one is alone in the ocean, and I mean that in a nice and comforting way. Not a scary, creepy way.

The difference in the mood of the water between today and yesterday may partially explain the difference in my mental state as well. I feel more calm and relaxed today and at peace with myself in the water. The future looks brighter - uncertain, but bright. I want to know what to do to get from here to there. I am certain their is a path that will take me there and I just need to uncover it. Why can’t I find it? If I could find it I’d certainly be on my way.

Out here right now I am given some peace that I am on that path right now. I’m not in control over what twists and turns I take along the way. I don’t have a 5 point plan to follow and out here I suddenly don’t feel like I need one. The path is the one that is right in front of me. There is a dance of trust and act I engage in. There is more trusting than acting and unfortunately the trusting is the harder of the two but that is my lesson to learn now.

I get to the south end of the beach and allow myself to stare at the end of the point for a minute or two like I do every time. I turn to head north and notice a seagull sitting on the water just about 10 feet away. I try to get closer without scaring it away. Then I pass it and turn around to see it with the headlands as its backdrop. Then suddenly a pelican comes flying by. Well that was a nice surprise. I wonder what the seagull thinks of the pelican. Does it think anything at all? It certainly doesn’t look like it could care less.

As I make my way north, the cloud cover gradually recedes southwest. Once I am two thirds down the beach, I can look south and see a line of cloud cut diagonally over the water separating white perforated cloud cover from a solid blue sky. Yes. I look north and see the light of the sun intersect with the face of the cliff just beneath the Ritz and it is all lit up gold along with the sandy beach below.

A couple minutes later the clouds slightly shift and the cliff loses its glow and becomes dark in shade. Then another couple more minutes go by and it is glowing again. It’s all so nice. It just gets brighter and brighter until I finish and I leave a different beach from the one I came to.